zondag 9 december 2012

Borderline and asking for attention – Real life stories (what is the best way to respond?)



Hi everyone, welcome to the second blog about people with Borderline and why they ask for attention so much. My previous blog was more about the theory behind this fact. You can read it here.

This blog provides real life stories to make you see what way works for someone with Borderline and what way does not. Here we go.

Story 1: Wrong way of wanting to solve the problem
This story is told by a girl named Natasha and her mother.

Natasha: mom, I cannot do it anymore! My life is over! I am devastated by all of the concerns and I cannot sleep *cries*
Her mom: Natasha, go upstairs now, I want you to go to sleep right now, it is late.
Natasha: But mom, I need you! Don’t you see that?!
Her mom: Yes I can see that, but you have to go to sleep now, I also need rest!
Natasha: *swallows* But I cannot sleep. I am sad, I am so scared! Please help me!
Her mom: I want you to stop this right now, that miserable behavior of yours! Stop it, it is enough! Upstairs, now!
Natasha: *screams everything all together* or *takes an over dose* or *goes cutting herself*

Story 2: Good way of wanting to solve the problem
This story is told by a girl named Natasha and her mother.

Natasha: mom, I cannot do it anymore! My life is over! I am devastated by all of the concerns and I cannot sleep *cries*
Her mom: Natasha, girl, I know that there is a lot going on inside your head right now. We can talk about this on a different time so you can share, but at this moment it is really late. I would appreciate it when you would go to sleep right now. I believe that you can do it and so should you.
Natasha: Mom that is so sweet of you! You really understand how I feel! Will it ever be okay again?
Her mom: Yes, as long as you believe in it, I believe in you. Sometimes I can see you struggling and this makes me feel tired too. Let’s go to sleep now and have sweet dreams about better times even when it is not like that right now. At least you can sleep just fine. Let’s not argue, because that is what you are afraid of, right? I will make sure of it.
Natasha: Oh, that is great! You totally get me! I will go to sleep mom, I am eternally grateful.
Her mom: Good night dear, you sleep now okay?
Natasha: You bet I will mom.

Explanation of story 1
This story makes you see that the mother’s response to the things her daughter says is not effective. A part of this has to do with the fact that she is totally worn out. Even the slightest effort to talk to her daughter in a calm way seems to be unsuccessful. This is the biggest mistakes families make in regards to children that need attention, they really need it. The cause is that they are so insecure about any single thing that is going on.

I know, acting effectively requires a lot of energy, but yet you as an outsider get a lot of that energy back from the person having Borderline Personality Disorder.

In my next blog I will perform an extensive analysis about what happens exactly. Because of the length of this analysis I have decided to dedicate a separate post to it. You can read it here.



This was my blog post for now. Please click on my name below the "about me" heading and add me to your 'circles' of Google+ and you can get informed about my latest blog posts. Also, by adding me to your 'circles' you enable me to help you out with questions you might have. Feel free to start a chat with me at any time.

Until next time.
Forest

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